


Five Times Bond Makes Q Tea, And One Time He Makes It Successfully

by angel_xx



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: M/M, Poor Q
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 01:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17777879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_xx/pseuds/angel_xx
Summary: "It took you five times to get it right."Q loves earl grey tea, and decides to trust Bond in making tea — But, it goes horribly wrong.





	1. Too Hot!

**Author's Note:**

> A Valentine's Special fic for my beloved 00Q fandom! Hope you enjoy!

Q was chewing on his gum while working on a code. He looks at Bond with his emerald green eyes and smiled. “Hey, love, could you make me a cup of tea?” 

“Sure thing, love.” Bond proceeds to the break room swiftly without hearing Q out fully.

“Remember to leave it to cool first— Oh, never mind.” Q shook his head, seeing the agent disappear in plain sight within seconds.

A few moments later, Bond returns with a cup of earl grey and placed it on Q’s desk. “Thank you, Bond.” Q thanked him and sips the tea, eyes still focused on his screen.

“CHRIST, Bond!” Q shrieked loudly, nearly dropping his favourite mug. The minions stared at him for a second before going back to work. “It’s too bloody hot!”

“I’m sorry, Q! I didn’t know it was /that/ hot.” Bond got a shock from Q’s shriek, scratching his head slightly.

“You’re never making me tea again.” Q walks to the break room to get an ice cube and sucked on it till the sensation passes. 

At the end of the day before Q packs up to go home, he wrote on a sticky note and placed it on his laptop:

‘Never get Bond to make you tea.’


	2. What Is THIS?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q gets mildly annoyed.

A day later, Q had a high fever and Bond requested a day off to take care of him. Q was sleeping soundly and Bond made him a warm cup of earl grey. He was looking at the seasoning box, and finding out which is sugar. It was so hard to differentiate between salt and sugar, so he took a scoop of the powder and just poured it into the cup of tea, hoping that it doesn’t go wrong this time.

Bond knocked the door and went into Q’s room, placing the cup on his nightstand and then he pressed a kiss to Q’s forehead. “I’ve made you some tea, darling.” 

Q opens his eyes and his vision was blurry. With the help of Bond, he sat up to drink the tea and spat it on Bond’s face one second later.

“What on bloody earth is THIS?! Why is it so salty?!” Q shouted at the top of his lungs, before having a fit of coughing. Bond quickly took the mug from Q’s hands and placing it back on the nightstand, patting Q’s back softly.

“I’m so sorry! I couldn’t tell which was salt and sugar.” Bond bit his lip nervously.

“You could’ve asked, Bond! CHRIST! Now pour me a glass of water— don’t mess up this time!” Q sighed.

Bond grabs a glass from the kitchen counter and pours a glass of water from the jar. He washed his face clean and then gives the glass of water to Q. 

Q sips it hesitantly and made a mental note to himself. “Don’t accept random tea from people. Including the person you married for life.”


	3. Did you leave it out for TOO LONG?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tea went cold — but Bond is forgiven. For now.

When Q was staying over at Bond’s house after a long day at work, he did not want to tamper with any of Bond’s furniture because they were old-fashioned as hell so he asked Bond to make him a cup of tea. 

“I’ll be taking a bath, Bond. Leave the tea on the basin. Thank you, love.” Q went into the bathroom and drew a bath.

Bond nodded and took his mug from the dishwasher and makes a cup of tea. He was about to bring it into the bathroom when his phone rang.

“Hello, Moneypenny!” Bond beamed when Eve’s voice could be heard.

“Hi James! What are you doing?” Eve smiled and played with her hair until Tanner was staring at her.

“I’m just making some tea for the lovely Quartermaster. How about you?” Bond perched on the kitchen counter and fiddled with his shirt.

“Oh, I’m just calling to tell you that me and Tanner are getting married next Saturday! We would like to invite you and Q. How’s that sound?” Eve giggled softly as Tanner pressed a kiss to her rosy cheeks.

“That sounds lovely! I’ll let Q know as soon as I deliver the tea to him. Ta for now!” 

“Ta Ta!”

Bond placed the phone on the countertop and brought the mug to the bathroom. “There you go, love.” He places it on the basin and perches on the bathtub. Q reaches out for the mug and took a small sip, then grumbled,

“Really, Bond? Why is it cold? You do realise it is cold outside, and I need a warm cuppa to prevent me from falling sick.” Q was frustrated. He couldn’t stand Bond messing up the simplest thing known to humankind (or only maybe to him.)

“Eve called. I couldn’t possibly ignore that, I’m sorry, love.”

Q sighed. “Okay, what did she say?”

“She told us that her wedding will be held next Saturday, isn’t that exciting?”

Q softened his approach and his lips curled into a smile.

“You’re forgiven — for now. Come and take a bath with me.”

Bond smiled weakly and stripped himself naked, and went into the bath.


	4. .......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The troubles of having cats.

Q was at his room, working out a crossword puzzle and he sighed.

“I need tea. I’ll go make it.” Q was about to stand up but Bond made him stay.

“I’ll get it, love.” Bond nodded and went into the kitchen.

“Thanks, love.”

While waiting for tea to sit a little, Q called out for Bond.

“Bond! Come in for a second.” 

Bond strolled in and saw Q swinging his pencil. “What’s the inflammation of the testis?”

“Orchitis.” Bond replied without any hesitation.

“Thanks.” Q scribbled it down, shooing Bond away with his free hand.

Bond went to get the mug from the countertop and brought it to Q.

Q sipped softly and placed it on the nightstand, then he felt something tingle in his throat.

He stared at the mug of tea and groaned. Apparently his cat ‘Seven’ shedded fur in the tea.

Q walked out and got himself a glass of warm water and swallowed it swiftly. When he returned to the room, he just stared at Bond silently until he fell asleep.


	5. I really, really hate you right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never, ever give Q tea that's not Earl Grey. He might just shag you to death.

Q struggled to stay awake at work recently and he needed a cup of tea. He made Bond make him another cup of tea after his last one which was thirty minutes ago. 

Bond was at the break room, and the earl grey tea bags ran out. So he found an alternative: Chamomile Tea.

Bond placed it on Q’s desk and Q saw the bright yellow tea sitting in front of him. “This isn’t earl grey, love.”

“I know, but you ran out.”

“I’m going to murder you, Bond. Chamomile is bloody sweet. Are you trying to make me fat?” Q said sternly.

“You’re too thin. You need to eat more. And be a little more chubbier.” Bond teased.

“Are you bloody serious? You know I only drink earl grey. I don’t drink any other teas.” Q pushed away the cup.

“Drink it, Q. You might like it.”

“Oh, BLOODY HELL. /You/ drink it then! Q stood up from his chair and splashed Bond with the cup of Chamomile tea.

“I really, really hate you right now, Bond.” Q leaves the office to get some fresh air.


	6. FINALLY.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five. Bloody. Times. to get one tea right.

At Moneypenny’s wedding, Q didn’t want alcohol so he ordered Bond to get him some tea while he talked to the bride and groom.   
Bond decides to stop mucking around and make it for real. ‘Failing to make tea is a failure in life,’ thought Bond. So he poured hot water, added the tea bag, poured one teaspoon of sugar into the tea and blew on it slightly before giving it to Q.

“Thanks love,” Q took the cup from him and sipped loudly.

Bond stared at him for a few moments.

“What?” Q quirked an eyebrow.

“You’re sipping too loudly.” Bond chuckled.

“Mind you, I had a long week. And also, it took you five bloody times to get it right.” Q rolled his eyes.

“Okay. Do you still hate me?”

“A little, but you’re good. Don’t mess up my tea again. Do you hear me?” Q replied.

“Yes sir.” Bond smiled wryly and pressed a kiss to Q’s forehead.

"And so did Bond and Q made amends?" Tanner asked Eve.

"Yeah, seems like it." Eve giggled and kissed Tanner's cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of my short fic! Hope you all liked it! As per usual, leave a kudo and some comments if you enjoyed it! All feedback are welcome and appreciated. :)


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